Cheers!

Sometimes, as a parent, you just look at your kid and think, "how can this person be so incredible!?"  Last night we were eating outside on the deck, as Charlotte is very fond of dining al fresco.  Mike had not sat down yet and Charlotte said, "let's wait Mommy."  She's so conscientious. Once Mike sat down and it was OK to start eating, I raised my glass toward Mike and said, "to us!" which is our standard toast that we always make.  Charlotte, said, "No. THREE us!"  She makes my heart sing!  So, now we will clink our glasses and say "three us!" and when Happy can raise a glass we'll say "four us!"

"Are We There Yet?" Meets "Why?"

Over the weekend Charlotte came to the mind-blowing realization that every street has its own name.  And the last two trips in the car have not been the same since.  For over a year now she has known River Road by name because, well, it's pretty damn distinctive.  It runs along the Mississippi River, is dotted with runners, bikers, and has bridges and a train trestle.  She also knows the Lake Street Bridge, the Ford Bridge, and the Franklin Avenue Bridge by name.

But then yesterday (Saturday), as part of some random conversation with her, I told her we were on 42nd street and would take a left on Nicollet.  And at that moment she put two and two together and you could almost hear the wheels churning in her head as if to tell her "Wait a second, River Road isn't the ONLY road with a name. Holy %#^@%$!! They all have names!!!!!"

Ooops.  I unleashed a monster.

Charlotte now knows each road has a new name just like each person has a name she wants to learn.  Now every time I make a turn she asks, "What street is this one called?"  And God love and her sincerity, she truly wants to know.  Unfortunately in Longfellow, as almost everyone reading this knows, the streets (going east to west) are all in the high 20s to mid 40s and the avenues (north-south) share the same range.  So really my answers are typically pretty boring and just a lesson in random numbers between 25 and 46.  But she carries on and asks with each turn.

Or she will just ask, "Is this 46th Avenue?"  I do not know why 46th Avenue is her favorite.  It is a main Longfellow thoroughfare but otherwise fairly unremarkable... unless you're Charlotte.

Battle of the Bands: How to Raise a Texasotan

Every morning Charlotte asks to hear music on the way to Montessori.  Specifically she asks to hear James McMurtry.  If the radio is on Charlotte will say, "I don't want to hear Mommy's music.  I want to hear Daddy's music.  I want to hear James McMurtry."  Truth be told, I would love to move on from these CDs but I am always going to indulge Charlotte in this context.

And then she will ask what every song is about which is illuminating in that pretty much every song that dude sings is tinged with some cocktail of unrest, depression, and emptiness.  Welcome to life Charlotte.

But Charlotte is getting a healthy dose of Music Appreciation 101 from Emily as well.  Friday night Charlotte was dancing to Prince on Emily's iPod.  Later that evening right around bedtime, Charlotte told me out of the blue, "I like Prince.  He makes me happy."  The ying to the erudite Mr. McMurtry's yang.

And then at dinner tonight we had The Current local show playing in the background and some upbeat song with a distinct Minneapolis sound/beat was going on and Charlotte lit up and said, "This is Prince!"  It wasn't, but she picked up on the familiar bass line and well, what can I say, she is going to be a Minneapolis girl through and through.

And this is a good thing.

Conversation With Charlotte #12

Today Charlotte was making dinner with me.  My back was turned and I heard the sound of about ten different things crashing to the floor.

Me: What was that, honey?

Charlotte: A noise.... and then another noise.

Like I have said before, she is nothing if not honest.

Conversations with Charlotte #6710892373

BREAKING NEWS: Charlotte no longer dislikes Brian Longley.  After a year of "I don't like Brian" (and then smirking) over the past week she has told me she loves Brian.  But she has also told me she loves tables, so take her proclamations of love with a grain of salt.  Charlotte also likes talking out her ass, so much so that I call her out on it to see where it will go.  This morning we were eating breakfast talking about, what else, food.

CHARLOTTE: I like coffee.

ME: Really?  You like coffee.  You've had some coffee and said, 'Mmm this is good."

CHARLOTTE: Yeah.  I like coffee.  It's yummy.

ME:  So where did you did you drink all this delicious coffee?

CHARLOTTE: At Brian's house.

ME: Arabica beans or robusta?

CHARLOTTE: Rabica.

ME:  So you're telling me you were hanging out with Brian drinking coffee with him.  Just you and Brian or was anyone else there?

CHARLOTTE: Me, Brian, and Ancy.  (Ancy would be Nancy)

ME: You guys were all just sitting in the kitchen, drinking some coffee, having a little conversation about politics and sports.

CHARLOTTE:  Yeah.  And Mommy and Daddy and Baby Happy were at home.

ME: What did you guys talk about?

CHARLOTTE: Christmas trees.

She never misses a beat as she just pulls out one random answer after another out of her butt.  It's a little unnerving how adept she is at this.

Conversation With Charlotte #323

Thanks a lot Halloween.  We had a good thing going with Charlotte, thinking that suckers were cat toys and fun size candy bars were noise makers.  And then Charlotte truly conceptualized candy today.

At bedtime, I end the day telling her what tomorrow bring, which Charlotte is always interested in knowing, especially the breakfast plans.

Charlotte: I'll eat breakfast tomorrow with Daddy, right?

Me: Yes.  We'll have toast and... actually we're out of yogurt but I'll figure something out.

Charlotte: Umm... Daddy?  I want candy for breakfast.

Me: No.  That's not a breakfast food.

Charlotte: No it's not a breakfast food.  It's only for a snack.

Me: Good night Charlotte.

Charlotte (right as I turn out the light): It's a breakfast snack.

Seriously Halloween, suck it.

Worst Conversation Ever

The Longfellow Grill came up in conversation at breakfast this morning.  Charlotte was quick to point out that we have gone there a few times with our Longfellow neighbors Ed and Carly and their baby Sasha (who is well on her way to toddlerhood).  And then Charlotte asked a series of questions so mind-numbingly dumb, I had to indulge her and answer them just because I was curious where this would go.  The answer is nowhere.  These questions went nowhere.

Charlotte:  Ed and Carly go to Longfellow Grill with Charlotte, Daddy, Mommy, and Happy... and Baby Sasha.

Me: Yes.

Charlotte: What's Ed's name?

Me: Ed.

Charlotte: What's Carly's name?

Me: Carly.

Charlotte: What's Sasha's name?

Me: Sasha.

Charlotte: Satisfied silence.  Resumes eating her waffles.

End scene.

Conversations with Charlotte #92

As of this week, we are a one car family.  Well, we were a one car family all summer but this is our first run at it now that Emily and I are back to work.  It has been pretty nice for the last three days because it means we end up driving together a lot as family to daycare and commuting to work.  

This has been especially nice for Charlotte because after I pick up her and Happy we head to Emily's work.  This means Charlotte gets to see tons of airplanes resting, taking off, and landing at the airport, the lightrail train (she is particularly fond of automatic gates), and lots of trucks.  Also, Cirque du Soleil is at Mall of America so we drive by the tents in the MoA parking lot.  Charlotte was talking about them quite a bit and then as we got closer wanted to know if they were camping tents.

Me: No.  There is a circus is in there.

Charlotte:  Ooooooo.  I want to go in those tents.

Me: We can't.  We have to have tickets.

Charlotte: Daddy has to buy the tickets.

Me:  No I don't.  They cost too much money.

Charlotte:  Daddy has to buy money.

Me: No I don't.  Then I'd have to pay interest.

Charlotte:  Ooooo.  I like interest.

Me:  Hmmmm. That would work only if you were a banker.

Charlotte: Daddy's a teacher.  Mommy's a scientist.  Charlotte's a banker.

Worst Book Ever

Tonight at dinner we were talking about our day and I asked Charlotte what story they read at school today.  Charlotte gave the following summary.

Charlotte: It was about a guy... who went into a sock store.

Me: I'm sorry, did you say sock store?

Charlotte: Yeah a sock store.  He's a funny guy.

Me: What else was in the story?

Charlotte: And then.... a fishy came in.

Me: A fish came in the sock store?

Charlotte: Yeah.

Me: Anything else?

Charlotte: No.

Me: So the whole story was about a guy in a sock store and then a fish comes in.

Charlotte: Yeah.  Funny guy.

Seriously, this has to be the worst book ever written.  No context, plot, depth of character...  Awful.  Truly awful, this book.  And I'm sorry Charlotte, but the guy shopping for socks doesn't seem like a funny guy at all.  He seems like a cautionary tale against doing hallucinogens before going out in public to buy socks.  Tragic and/or depressing.  Not funny.

What's Arthur and Lewis Doing?

This morning, Charlotte was cheerfully eating her breakfast and making conversation.


Charlotte:  Jessie's eating breakfast too!

Me:  yes.

Charlotte:  What's Arthur and Lewis doing?

Me:  Um, they are probably riding the school bus right now.

Charlotte:  Yeah.  They're going to school.

{Pause}

Charlotte:  They're going to an apple school.  Charlotte goes to an orange school.

Me:  Uh, OK.

Charlotte:  I'm going to an orange school.  Arthur and Lewis going to an apple school.


Me thinks that we've been reading a little too much Richard Scarry with all the pickle cars, apple cars, etc.

Conversation with Charlotte #2145

This morning, as is her wont, well, as is any toddler's wont, Charlotte began whining for no apparent reason, out-of-the-blue, and while perfectly content with whatever we were doing (I think I was putting bows in her hair).

ME: Where did that whining come from?

CHARLOTTE: From my mouth.

She's nothing if not honest.

And So It Begins

In the spirit of the Spurs pending finals matchup against the Miami Heat, this video seemed fitting.  It appears that Tim Duncan just discovered he has arms.  Well, Charlotte has made a similar powerful yet simple discovery: the combination of "what's" with "that" yields amazing influence over conversations and parents.  I am happy to indulge her, even if I know she knows the answer.

It's only fair.  Whenever we look at books, we both know I am often asking her wh- questions that I know she knows the answer to.  So it stands to reason that she can, in turn, ask me "what's that" questions, even if we both know that she knows the answer.

Wow there was a lot of theory of mind going on in that last paragraph.  I'm glad I'm not reading this post to Charlotte out loud because then she'd ask me "what's that" about theory of mind, and I'd feel obligated to explain it to her in a way she'd understand.  In the meantime, you can imagine what the bulk of our conversations have been like lately.  A lot of her asking me "what's that" and a lot of me trying to find a short honest answer.

I had no problem working around these questions when I was working with kids Charlotte's age.  Funny how the rules change when it's your own flesh and blood, in terms of what you let go and work around and what you don't.

Conversations with Charlotte #213

Charlotte and I were driving in the car yesterday and we were stopped a traffic light near our house, the hated 42nd and 42nd light.  A fellow citizen was out walking his dog.

CHARLOTTE: That a daddy.

ME: What's he doing?

CHARLOTTE: Walking his doggie.

ME: Yeah.  That's a really nice looking dog.  It's called a golden retriever.

CHARLOTTE: It a golden treever.

ME: And Pancho is kind of a black lab.

CHARLOTTE: Pancho wear a black lab.

ME: No.  He IS a black lab.  That's the kind of dog he is.

CHARLOTTE: He wear a black lab.

ME: Okay, that dog IS a golden retriever.  Pancho IS a black lab.

(five second pause)

CHARLOTTE: Pancho have a black lab on.

Thankfully the light finally turned green at this point and our conversation shifted to that.

Conversation with Charlotte #61328

A little snippet of a conversation I had with Charlotte after she woke up from her nap this afternoon.

Conversations with Charlotte #43267

This weekend Charlotte and I were walking along the boulevard on West River Road which was fun for a lot of reasons.  We spent about 30 minutes at one of the boulders they have strewn along the boulevard.  In that time, Charlotte decided the boulder was a couch, an oven, a dog, and a bed, and she treated it accordingly.  Well, except for when she said she wanted to sleep on the bed because "it's nice and warm.  So comfortable."  I told her she would regret trying to night night on a boulder.

Finally we made our way back home.  Charlotte wanted to linger among the trees.  I wanted to get home because a lunch and a nap were in her near future.

ME: We walk in the grass or check it out, we can walk on the cow path.

CHARLOTTE: Let's go on a cow path.

ME: Okay it's over here.

CHARLOTTE: Mooooo.  It a cow path.  There's milk down there.

ME: Where?

CHARLOTTE (points to the ground):  It's under there.  The milk is under there.  Moooo.

Sometimes I have no idea what Charlotte is talking about.

Conversation with Charlotte #7382

Sunday evening my friend Nathan came over to watch the Gophers unimpress and underwhelm its basketball fans in the second round of NCAA basketball tournament (technically called the third round now, but there is a lot of of buzz to just start calling it the Thirsty 32).  It was a fitting end to a disappointing season.  Fortunately, Nathan, Charlotte, and I went to dinner at Longfellow Grill first so I had the game DVR'd and Nathan and I were able to fast foward through most of the second half and watched Louis CK's stand-up special, Hilarious, instead.  

But Charlotte had a great time.  Longfellow Grill is always fun for her, and then I let her watch five minutes of basketball with me and Nathan before she went to bed, which for her was a real treat.

It also doesn't hurt that Nathan fits her ideal demographic of people she likes to hang out with: dudes between 30 and 60.  I had a friend in college visit me earlier this winter and he was over at our house and Charlotte orgnaically pulled out these flirting skills that I had never seen before.  Ever since then, it's been a pattern, as it was with Nathan.  She was showing off for him, by jumping on her trampoline, and then cozied up next to him to watch basketball.  It was pretty funny and very sweet.

And now whenever we drive by Longfellow Grill, Charlotte points it out and says, "Longfellow Grill.  Eat with Nathan."

So today we were driving by and Charlotte again noted where we were.

Charlotte:  Longfellow Grill.  Eat with Nathan.

Me: Yeah you me and Nathan ate there a few days ago.

Emily: Did you have fun?

Charlotte: yeah.

Me: Do you want to go there again with Nathan?

Charlotte: No.

Ouch.  Cold-hearted.  Take that Nathan.

The World According to Charlotte, part 7

"Come to think of it, I'll just have water."

Emily bought Charlotte and me a gift card to Smashburger for Christmas.  And our first trip there in January on the gift card resulted in this compelling conversation.  Today we went back again and used up the rest of the money on the card.  

Two months later, the "Smashburgerrrrrrr" conversation is about the same, only it begins earlier, on the way to the restaurant in the car.  Every two minutes Charlotte would blurt out "Smashburgerrrrrrrr."  And you know how people can say something and you have no idea how to reply in any way that is remotely meaningful? Well it turns out "Smashburgerrrrrr" is one of those instances.  Luckily things got more interesting.

But it started out as it usually does with Charlotte.  We got there and she was doing the same thing: labeling everything.  I think she does this when she is really excited about something and doesn't know how to express it other than point out every detail she sees.  My theory is that Charlotte is bathed in excitement and happiness, and it spills over to color even the smallest detail in her surroundings and enhances everything she is experiencing.  Even the wrapper the straw came in is so absurdly awesome it has to be pointed out.  There is something to be said for that.  Suck it, cynicism.

So when Charlotte's milk arrived, she thought MILK!!!  I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT MILK AT SMASHBURGER FOR THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES AND NOW IT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.... IN A SMASHBURGER, NO LESS!!!!  THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!  

But that enthusiasm comes out sideways, and less direct and more slowly for Charlotte.  Instead, in Charlotte's world, this just means it's time to talk about our beverages, and point out who has what.  I had a Coke, which I drink maybe ten times a year, tops.  And Charlotte took note.

"This is a Charlotte's milk.  That a daddy's black water."  

Black water?  Gross.

Well that took away any ounce of enjoyment I was going to get from my Coke.  And to really drive the point home, Charlotte's new thing now is to sing about two things back and forth.  She is really into opposites right now and they also sing a "clean and sort" song at Montesorri.  

So in the spirit of "clean and sort" she will sign songs like.... I don't know, of the top of my head.... "Milk!  Black water.  Black water.  Black water.  Milk!  Black water.  Black water.  Black water."

This only lasted about thirty seconds.  But even so, I think I am done with Cokes for the year.  It was a perfect public health PSA.  Well done young lady.

Conversation with Charlotte #412382

Tonight we were choosing books for bedtime.  She had her heart set on The Little Engine That Could which is kind of a narrow book and splits its time upstairs and downstairs.  Not only does this make it hard to find but hard to keep track of.  Really Charlotte?  Out of all the books you had to pick one of the narrowest and transient books you have.  So Charlotte and I spent a few minutes looking for the book.   We couldn't find it, but Charlotte is learning a little too quickly how I like to communicate with Emily at bedtime when Charlotte and I are upstairs and Emily is downstairs.

Me: I'm not even sure the book is up here Charlotte.  It might be downstairs.

Charlotte (runs to the doorway and shouts down the stairs): EM! HELP! BOOK!

Looks like we need to introduce the "whoever does the talking does the walking rule" around Parker-Nawrocki household... starting with me.

Conversation with Charlotte #91

Charlotte tonight, finishing off the opening page to Chicka Chicka ABC for me while we read it as one of her bedtime books.

Me: A told B and B told C, "I'll meet you at the top of the coconut tree."

Charlotte: A... B.... Charlotte.

Charlotte Gets Involved In Neighborhood Debate

A few weeks ago, to much fanfare, a new restaurant opened in our neighborhood, The Blue Door.  I'm excited but have yet to go because part of the Blue Door experience (there is one in St. Paul) is waiting for 45 minutes for your table.  Great for having a beer and catching up with your friend  while you wait for a table, not so great for taking your toddler out for a quick bite.

So while I haven't been yet, I am no stranger to the debate it has sparked among Longfellow residents.  The restaurant is surrounded by houses and no business is within a block or two, so the residents nearby are griping about having a bar and restaurant next to their house and a school.  There is no parking lot yet the Blue Door was able to skirt this regulation, to the dismay of those who live on the block and will have to contend with cars parking on their block.  The owner of the nearby wine bar and coffee shop has also lobbied against the Blue Door coming to Longfellow.

But beer and hamburgers won out.  The place is crazy popular.  A new four way stop sign is now by the restaurant.  And suddenly there is a stretch of 42nd Avenue packed with parked cars.

On Saturday, Charlotte and I were driving down 42nd around lunchtime and she was chattering away about produce and then saying, "I think so.... I don't think so.... I think so.... I don't think so."  As an aside, I had to keep from laughing because the whole "I don't think so" bit Charlotte was saying reminded me of Fred Willard from the only funny scene from A Mighty Wind.

But I digress.

Charlotte was mid-"I don't think so" when we drove by the Blue Door and she burst out, "Lots and lots of cars!  So many cars!  Beep beep!  So many cars!"

Count Charlotte among the Longfellow residents who thinks the Blue Door is bringing too much unwanted traffic and street parking to our quiet neighborhood.  Meanwhile I am stoked the Blue Door is here.  I assume this is the only time Charlotte and I will fail to see eye to eye on anything, ever again.