Look But Don't Touch

Ben came over to visit Charlotte before he went to work.  Charlotte's immune system needs a little time before she can be handled by anyone besides me and Emily.  We take Charlotte to her first pediatrician's appointment tomorrow and will get some more clarity about how social Charlotte can be.  All early answers point to a reclusive winter for the three of us.

So it was nice to see Ben.  He brought us some honeycrisps and his camera.  Here are the fruits of his labor.

Charlotte is now strong enough that we probably don't need to hold her up with one hand anymore, but it's hard not to.

Charlotte's present feeding pattern is to sleep for three hours, and then eat and nap on and off for two hours.  Ben showed up during a 20 minute power nap during one of her feeding times.  She comes by it honestly: no one has a bigger reputation for taking longer to eat than her father.

 

 

A Catalog of Thanks

As I wrote the last post and reflected on the insanity that was the last two months of Emily's pregnancy, I was reminded just how impossible our ability to function would be without the help of others.  To accept so much help from others, initially, was a very hard thing for me to do.  But that doesn't make me any less grateful for all the love and support we have received.  And I have to remind myself, if the shoe were on the other foot, I would be just as eager to help.  So many people to thank!

• The cousins and aunts who painted our bedroom and Charlotte's bedroom.
• Zach who assembled Charlotte's crib with me (actually I did him a favor because he gets boners when he assembles IKEA furniture).  Zach also helped me restore Emily's old dresser to working order for Charlotte. 
• Doug and Erin who have taken Pancho off of our hands time and time again so I can focus on being with Emily (and eventually Emily and Charlotte).
• Erin also cleaned the house and sorted the baby clothes for us.  But like Zach, we were doing her a favor.  Organizing and cleaning gives Erin lady boners.
• My mom and sisters for helping host a shower for Emily and traveling all the way up from Texas for the occasion.
• Maureen and Angie for co-hosting as well.  Maureen hosted the shower in her home.
• Nathan for bringing us Potbelly sandwiches a few days after Charlotte's birth.
• Emily's mom for bringing food for Emily and just being herself.
• All the people who gave us gifts at Emily's shower.
• Nathan, Kirk, and Marty for organizing a Finn Shower for Dudes, which may go down in history as the most inappropriate shower ever.
• Emily's cousins Cait and Amy who made us two huge batches of excellent soup.
• Emily's mom cooked some spaghetti soup for me one night.
• My mom bought a library of books for Charlotte to grow up with.
• My niece Sophia and nephew Calvin both made homemade books for Charlotte back when she was just a future cousin in utero.
• My other niece Hannah is knitting Charlotte a scarf.
• As I type this, Emily's aunt Deb and her cousin Laurie are coming over with roast beef sandwiches.
• Bob and Jules made us some homemade mac and cheese freeze and store. 
• Laurie sent us so many supplies for Charlotte, like a car seat, swing, bassinet, and many other things.  Then Deb called on her mad Rubik's cube skills and assembled the bassinet and swing with no instructions, but the help of Cait and Amy.  Take that Zach!
• Emily's friend Missy bought Emily some slippers, nice shower gel, and an Eyebrow Wax Lady came to the hospital to beautify her.
• Emily's sister was amazing.  While toting twins in her belly (that came out three days after Charlotte) she cooked for us and visited Emily in the hospital whenever she could.  No small feat for a mother of two.
• Ben took those stunning pictures of Charlotte's birth that are priceless to us. 
• Also, one day Emily's work computer crapped out and Ben first brought her one of his old computers so she could stay online in the hospital, and then he took her broken computer to Emily's workplace to get fixed.  No small feat for a father of two with a wife pregnant with twins.
• Emily's friends Rachel and Kate took Emily to lunch.  Just giving Emily a chance to escape the hospital for a few hours is a huge relief to her.
• My employer has been incredibly supportive through all this.  So has Emily's.
• The staff I work with has been great too.  From asking questions and offering to support, to giving gifts, including tea for lactation, molasses to prevent anemia, books for bedrest, and the proverbial "I LOVE MY DADDY SOOOOO MUCH" onesie.
• The Longleys brought us Blizzards and ribs.
• Maureen brought us candy corn and Leann Chin.  
• My sisters and mom are sponsoring a cleaning lady for our house.
• This summer I was coaching a marathon training class and my co-coaches Anne and Marty were very understanding, as was the whole class, the times I had to bail on a practice at the last second.
• Emily's step-mom gave Emily some much needed fresh fruit in the form of honeycrisp apples.
• Zander and Julie brought us a whole homemade dinner (including leftovers that I used for lunch) and the entertainment of their son Jin, of Jin Quote du Jour fame.
• Paul and Karen came to visit and two days later, Charlotte was born.  Karen brought some magazines to make Emily's bedrest more tolerable.  And typical Professor fashion, Paul took a copy of the day's paper from the front desk.
• At least three different moms gave us complete sets of baby clothes that they no longer needed.
• Our friend Heidi had a daughter at 34 weeks and visited Emily to reassure her that things would be okay and told her what to expect.
• Angie brought Emily her favorite State Fair food (now being sold in downtown Minneapolis), World's Greatest Turkey Sandwich.  
• Maureen and Bill brought us Stress Free Crosswords which Emily and I did together quite a bit to pass the time.
• My friend John, whose son was born the same day as Charlotte, gave me a book, The Survival Guide for First Time Dads.  And yes, I need it.
• I run with John, as well as Greg and Nick.  All of us have wives who are expecting or already delivered this fall.  In 16 years we will be one runner away from having a  pretty good co-ed cross country team.
• Emily's friend Kate brought "Cashew Trail Mix" which I call "Devils' Mix."  You eat one bite and you are condemned to eating the whole container because it is THAT good.
• Emily's aunt Nancy then brought another canister of the Devil's Mix upon request.  I first accidentally typed "upon regret."  Which is how you feel after 30 minutes of eating the cashew, M&M, Milk Dud combo.
• Jen was visiting from Grinnell and gave Emily some magazines and homemade pumpkin muffins.
• Emily for being Emily.

The list is impressive in its quality and length.  Here is how I can summarize it the best.  Last Friday was garbage and recycling day.  I always budget an extra ten minutes before leaving on recycling day because you never know what hiccup I may come across as I gather and take out the recycling.  

Well first I went to get the trash bins and push them to the edge of the driveway so the garbage man would take them.  Both bins were empty.  In one week I had accumulated no trash.  

Then I went to get the recycling out of the basement.  None there.  Maybe I already transferred it to the garage.  Nope.  None there either.  In TWO weeks, I had accumulated nothing that needed to be recycled.  

Holy crap.  That just shows you how ungrounded I had become.  "It's upside down and backwards; the foot's on the other shoe," to quote James McMurtry.  And yet I am healthy, eating three square meals a day, and able to  make to the hospital everyday to be with Charlotte and Emily and we know we can finish off getting the house Charlotte Ready.  That last sentence could not be true without the love and support we have received from everyone.  

Charlotte is blessed to be born into such a caring network of family and friends.

Charlotte One Week Old

Well, actually she is "34 weeks corrected" since premature baby's ages are their gestational age, but more about that later.

On Tuesday, Ben came to the hospital to take some pictures of his favorite niece.

Ben said, "Emily will you kiss the top of her head.  I know you do it all the time when I am not here."

Charlotte's Birth Story

On Monday October 4, I had an ultrasound to measure the amniotic fluid and it was low.  My doctor said that she'd repeat the next day and if it was still low we'd deliver.  Well, she said that a bunch of times and it didn't happen so I didn't take her seriously.  I didn't even mention it to Mike that night.  The next morning, my doctor came in at 5am on her rounds and told me again that if the fluid was low this would be the day and she told me not to eat breakfast. Well, we'd been through this before, so I didn't bother to call Mike.  At about 9 am, I had the ultrasound and the fluid was still low.  The nurse said that they could get me in the OR for a c-section at 11:30am.  I was not prepared - I had some loose ends to tie up!  I wasn't completely mentally prepared either. I knew we would be having her early, but not >6 weeks early!  So, I called Mike and hastily emailed a few people at work.  The nurse kept coming in to start prepping me for surgery, and I'd say, "I need ten more minutes!"  Then, Mike called and he was stuck in traffic.  Joe Biden was at Macalester giving a talk and the road was closed for his safety.  He was worried that he wouldn't get there in time, but the nurse said they wouldn't start without him.  I called my sister.  My brother-in-law, Ben, had offered to come take pictures so he was on his way.  The nurse started prepping me for surgery and packing up my stuff since I would be moving from an antepartum (my home the last two weeks) room to a postpartum room. 

Ben got there before Mike since he didn't have to deal with the Joe Biden traffic.  Mike arrived and put on his scrubs.  He looked so cute!  Then the nurse said we would walk down to the OR.  What!?  After 2 weeks being confined to bedrest, I was going to walk down the hall!?!  As we were walking down the hall, I had to ask them to slow down because I couldn't keep up.  Even though the childbirth class instructor came and talked to us for almost 2 hours one night, and we knew what to expect, I was really nervous.  I mean, holy crap!  We were going to have a baby in 20 minutes! 

I went in the OR without them and they gave me the epidural and strapped my arms to the table (did you know they do that?  It's instinct to reach out to grab the baby and that would compromise the sterile field) and the guys came in. It didn't hurt, but I felt lots of pulling and tugging. After <15 minutes the doctor pulled Charlotte out.  I heard her cry and it was the most amazing moment.  She was here!  And she was OK!  Crying meant she was breathing!  My doctor said, "say hi!" and lifted her up to the curtain for a split second and all I saw was the top of her head.  Mike could see everything and he just kept saying, "she's so beautiful, she's so beautiful." 

Because Charlotte was a preemie, I knew that I wouldn't get to hold her right away since the neonatologists would take her away for assessment.  During this part, Ben came over and showed me the pictures on his camera, the first time I got to get a good look at her.  Charlotte was breathing on her own, but then she stopped and was in respiratory distress.  Ben had to leave and Mike was with Charlotte. I don't know what was happening while they finished stitching me up, Mike can tell that part of the story.  While I was in recovery, Mike and Ben were in the Special Care Nursery with Charlotte and took more pictures and came back to show me. 

Having Ben come to take pictures was so wonderful.  The nurse had told Ben that he wasn't allowed in the OR, but he would not take no for an answer and kept asking until she said it was up to the anesthesiologist and he was fine with it.  So, Ben got some scrubs.  It was really cool to share such an important day with him.  It also allowed me to see what was going on throughout the whole thing.

Once I was recovered I was wheeled through the nursery to see her for the first time and I put my finger in her hand she grabbed my finger.  She is amazing and beautiful and we are in love.

our first family photo