October 30, 2010
Busman's Holiday
The doctor yesterday stated she wanted a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) to do a consult with Charlotte. Hey that's me! I let the doctor know not only was I an SLP, but I specialized in fluency disorders, language disorders in adolescents, and metalinguistic skills for receptive language. I couldn't wait to help!
Unfortunately Charlotte's problems are more basic. They are a little concerned with the speed with which she is picking up oral feeding. Some of you may know, SLPs also specialize in swallowing and feeding issues. Well other SLPs do. I don't, especially in newborns.
Anyway, by Monday we will have an SLP visit and hopefully she will have some tips for us and the staff to help out Charlotte. Bottom line is Charlotte continues to grow and get stronger. Last night Emily noted how much stronger Charlotte's neck is. Charlotte has some really good feeding sessions but not on a consistent basis, and that is the biggest road block we face to getting her home. So hopefully the SLP will be able to help.
October 27, 2010
This is How We Do
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| This is a super cute thing that Charlotte does - she often rests her sleepy head on her hands. |
Kangaroo care is when a baby and parent spend a chunk of time "skin-to-skin." It is used around the world and has been shown to help preemies with respiration, body temperature, weight gain and nursing. It is also beneficial for bonding, which is important for baby and parents especially when baby is still in the hospital and the parents can't be there all the time. Mike or I try to do it everyday. She'll be all wiggly and then when you hold her like this, she becomes totally peaceful. So peaceful that I used to fall asleep all the time too, until some nurses urged me to start taking naps.
October 25, 2010
October 23, 2010
Needed: Pictures
Sorry that we don't have any pictures up. Maybe Emily can take some with her smart phone. Here is what is new with us:
- Emily is now driving which means she is no longer living in the hospital. We are still here quite a bit of course, so we can help with feedings and the other cares.
- Charlotte continues to do well and is steadily gaining weight and eating more and more on her own.
- Pancho had diarrhea.
- Emily still doesn't like the cats.
- One day in the NICU there were no other parents there. Just us and the nurses which is rare. We overheard some funny conversations from the staff. One nurse told the baby she was taking care of, "I'm going to wake you up and shove this up your butt" (she was talking about giving a baby a suppository). Later the nurses were talking about the same baby who, as ordered by the doctor, had to sleep on her belly. So they discussed if you can poop while laying on your belly and one nurse was quick to point out, "I have no experience with that." That got a good laugh from everyone.
- Charlotte is awake a lot more. She even was alert for a whole hour with me as I held her. That was pretty cool.
- She stuck her tongue out for the first time today which is probably interesting to the co-authors of this blog.
- She passed her sensorineural hearing screening. I just had to throw in the sensorineural part to justify the two audiology classes I had to take in grad school.
- We made a Target to run to buy all the baby supplies most people have BEFORE the baby is born.
- One of my favorite 30 minutes of my life was a few nights ago when I swear Charlotte was looking right into my eyes when I spoke to her. I know this is common for all parents and usually happens on day one. But for us, it has come on day 15, and I am not 100% certain she was responding to my voice. Even so, the possibility that she was is pretty freaking awesome.
- My friends John, Steve, Jen, Ashley, and Greg pitched in on bought us groceries online to be delivered from our house. The kicker? They live either in Kentucky, Texas, or Colorado. Virtual shopping. Pretty awesome and much love to those five elitist bastards.
Charlotte will probably be here another week or two. She has to get strong enough to sit in a car seat for two hours (they test her here in the hospital) and get 100% of her nutrition orally. We're not there yet and continue to go one day at a time.
October 21, 2010
Family Feud #67123
Emily and I bickered had a debate in the parking garage of Fairview Southdale Hospital parking ramp.
Was Doogie Howser, M.D. a sitcom or not?
Emily says it was, in the spirit of any other "good clean family sitcom show" like Blossom.
I say no way. It was trying to be a quirky show more like Twin Peaks and Moonlighting that you can't put in a box.
Who is right?
Was Doogie Howser, M.D. a sitcom or not?
Emily says it was, in the spirit of any other "good clean family sitcom show" like Blossom.
I say no way. It was trying to be a quirky show more like Twin Peaks and Moonlighting that you can't put in a box.
Who is right?
October 20, 2010
What's Charlotte Up to?
Charlotte is 2 weeks old now and has made tremendous progress. She loves to grab any tubes attached to her and pulled off her canulla in the night, but her oxygen saturation didn't go down, so it was decided she didn't need it anymore.
She moved out of the isolette (her "condo" as the neonatologist fondly referred to it) because she can now regulate her body temperature.
She is now in a regular crib and wears clothes. In order to take her home she has to be breathing without help, able to regulate her own temperature and getting all her nutrition orally. So, she's good on the first two and now we just work on eating. She still gets most of her nutrition through her feeding tube. Being a preemie, she just doesn't have the muscle for sucking yet, and she doesn't have the coordination of sucking, swallowing and breathing. We work on nursing a few times each day. At first, she would just suck and swallow and forget to breathe (and one time turned blue). Then she was able to nurse for a few minutes before she fell into a deep sleep. Now we go for about 10 minutes before she is worn out and she is getting more efficient. She gained about 8 ounces since she was born and has increased her feedings. Everyday, we are closer to bringing her home.
As parents, Mike and I also made tremendous progress. We gave her a bath for the first time (there is a video somewhere.....). I had my first freak-out as a mom - about baby poop. I didn't read the last chapters of the baby books and I don't know what's normal for a newborn. I may have babysat a lot as a teen, but never newborns. Anyway, the very patient neonatology nurse practitioner assured me that Charlotte and her poo were totally normal. Well, that's a relief. I swore I would never be one of if those people whose facebook status updates are about baby poo. I think this is the appropriate venue, if there is one, for such information.
Charlotte is 2 weeks old now and has made tremendous progress. She loves to grab any tubes attached to her and pulled off her canulla in the night, but her oxygen saturation didn't go down, so it was decided she didn't need it anymore.
 |
| Charlotte with her mittens taped to her arms because she loves to pull on all her tubes. |
She moved out of the isolette (her "condo" as the neonatologist fondly referred to it) because she can now regulate her body temperature.
 |
| Charlott'es vacated "condo" |
Family Portrait #3
Charlotte is two weeks old as of yesterday. Actually, she's negative four weeks according to something called gestational age. This leads to some confusing situations.
Last night Emily and I came in from a date night at Culver's after visiting hours. This means we have to go past security to get back to our room. Actually, the security guard was the first to be confused. I explained to the security guard that our daughter was a patient in Labor and Delivery and we were taking care of her. And he said, "Oh did your daughter deliver a girl or a boy?" Fine, I get it. We are old to be parents to a newborn, but we're not THAT old.
So after finally sorting that mess out, he wanted to know how old Charlotte was. And there was this long pause and I could sense that Emily was trying to figure out how to explain to this guy gestational age vs. chronological age. So I just jumped in and said "She's two weeks old," which satisfied his quest for knowledge.
But it was somewhat illustrative to how wrapped up in your own little world you can become as a parent. I easily forget that people I don't know well, or at all, are just happy for me and Emily because it reminds them of their own journey as a parent. The details of NICUs, CPAPs, negative ages, and car seat tests really are not important and trying to explain it takes too much time. So it's easier to leave all that out, but hard to remember to do that when you are so wrapped up in the moment.
Anyway, in the two weeks we've been with Charlotte, I noticed there are a lot more pictures of me holding Charlotte than Emily holding her. That's because I'm not nursing or pumping. So I made a point to get a few pictures of Emily and Charlotte last night that wouldn't spark the whole "Is it okay to nurse in public?" debate.
Below is our third family portrait and the first since Charlotte graduated to the "Big kids' side of the NICU" as one of the nurses called it.
Last night Emily and I came in from a date night at Culver's after visiting hours. This means we have to go past security to get back to our room. Actually, the security guard was the first to be confused. I explained to the security guard that our daughter was a patient in Labor and Delivery and we were taking care of her. And he said, "Oh did your daughter deliver a girl or a boy?" Fine, I get it. We are old to be parents to a newborn, but we're not THAT old.
So after finally sorting that mess out, he wanted to know how old Charlotte was. And there was this long pause and I could sense that Emily was trying to figure out how to explain to this guy gestational age vs. chronological age. So I just jumped in and said "She's two weeks old," which satisfied his quest for knowledge.
But it was somewhat illustrative to how wrapped up in your own little world you can become as a parent. I easily forget that people I don't know well, or at all, are just happy for me and Emily because it reminds them of their own journey as a parent. The details of NICUs, CPAPs, negative ages, and car seat tests really are not important and trying to explain it takes too much time. So it's easier to leave all that out, but hard to remember to do that when you are so wrapped up in the moment.
Anyway, in the two weeks we've been with Charlotte, I noticed there are a lot more pictures of me holding Charlotte than Emily holding her. That's because I'm not nursing or pumping. So I made a point to get a few pictures of Emily and Charlotte last night that wouldn't spark the whole "Is it okay to nurse in public?" debate.
Below is our third family portrait and the first since Charlotte graduated to the "Big kids' side of the NICU" as one of the nurses called it.
October 19, 2010
Mike and Charlotte
 |
Bottle
We started bottle feeding on Sunday. Now that I am able to stay a little ahead of Charlotte's needs, she can be fed breast milk in a bottle. This will be fun for Mike and it means that the nurses can bottle feed her when we can't be there. So far, she is getting about 1/5 of her nutrition orally, and the rest through her feeding tube but she is getting more consistent. The more she gets to practice and workout her little jaw muscles the sooner she can ditch the feeding tube and go home.
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| Charlotte's First Bottle |
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| Baby Burp |
Hiccups
Emily shot this video last week with her friendly robot iVerizon smart pda phone thingy. Sometimes she uses it to make a phone call.
October 18, 2010
Conversation With Emily #238190
A little background first.
Background piece #1. About six weeks ago, I was at home having a night of shallow sleep. Emily was in her hospital bed, 15 miles away from home, allowing the menagerie full access to Emily's side of the bed. As I went from being mostly asleep to very awake, I realized I had been sleep-contemplating pregnancy and all the complications that come from it. And in this light sleep-deep thoughts mode, I wondered why the most important part of how we propagate our species is also the most fragile and complex.
So when I reached the point where I was fully awake, I found myself sitting fully upright in bed saying quite loudly, "Pancho, intelligent design, my ass."
For someone whose sleep thoughts are usually verbalized with statements like "that's horseshit" (according to Emily), this was pretty profound stuff coming from me.
Consequently whatever twist and turn each day brings in our journey with Charlotte, I will often remark, "intelligent design, my ass."
Background piece #2. Emily's cousin Laurie informed us that when you change your baby's diaper and wipe her bum, the wiping motion stimulates the baby to poop again.
Conversation #238190
Sitting in the NICU with Charlotte.
Me: Man that is messed up. Why would wiping a butt make a baby poop more? There's no good reason for that. That is one unintelligent design.
Emily: Well it's not like that happens with grown-ups, so that's pretty smart.
That made me laugh. It also reminded me of when Emily wondered what the world would be like if adults cried when they were hungry, just like babies do. Like she said, afternoon rush hour would be hilarious. All these grown-ups sitting in cars all alone, stuck in traffic, crying their unintelligently designed asses off.
Background piece #1. About six weeks ago, I was at home having a night of shallow sleep. Emily was in her hospital bed, 15 miles away from home, allowing the menagerie full access to Emily's side of the bed. As I went from being mostly asleep to very awake, I realized I had been sleep-contemplating pregnancy and all the complications that come from it. And in this light sleep-deep thoughts mode, I wondered why the most important part of how we propagate our species is also the most fragile and complex.
So when I reached the point where I was fully awake, I found myself sitting fully upright in bed saying quite loudly, "Pancho, intelligent design, my ass."
For someone whose sleep thoughts are usually verbalized with statements like "that's horseshit" (according to Emily), this was pretty profound stuff coming from me.
Consequently whatever twist and turn each day brings in our journey with Charlotte, I will often remark, "intelligent design, my ass."
Background piece #2. Emily's cousin Laurie informed us that when you change your baby's diaper and wipe her bum, the wiping motion stimulates the baby to poop again.
Conversation #238190
Sitting in the NICU with Charlotte.
Me: Man that is messed up. Why would wiping a butt make a baby poop more? There's no good reason for that. That is one unintelligent design.
Emily: Well it's not like that happens with grown-ups, so that's pretty smart.
That made me laugh. It also reminded me of when Emily wondered what the world would be like if adults cried when they were hungry, just like babies do. Like she said, afternoon rush hour would be hilarious. All these grown-ups sitting in cars all alone, stuck in traffic, crying their unintelligently designed asses off.
For Archival Purposes
Here are email updates that Mike sent to our families during Charlotte's first days (before we started this blog). I pasted them together here for archival purposes.
_______________________________________________
From: Michael Nawrocki
To: halfdrunkcanofpop
Date: October 5, 2010 3:09 PM
Subject: Happy Birthday
Charlotte James Nawrocki
5 lbs 3 ounces, 18 1/2 inches
12:23 p.m.
Emily did great. C-section birth ordered by the doctor around 9 a.m. Ben was with us and got some beautiful pictures. Emily is recovering nicely and Charlotte is in the Special Care Nursery on a CPAP machine to keep her lung pressure at a level where the alveoli can stay inflated, but otherwise she is breathing on her own. So she is having a tad difficulty breathing but this is pretty standard stuff for a baby born at 33 weeks, 6 days.
Pictures to follow.
So Charlotte won the race against her cousins, which we really wanted her to lose but, who cares? She is beautiful and in the hands of some of the best medical practitioners in the world. And I almost lost a race myself. On the way over I thought I'd take Shepard Road as a shortcut to get to Crosstown. But at 35E and Shepard Road traffic was a at a standstill. I was pinned with an 18 wheeler behind me and to the left of me and a Schwann's delivery guy in front of me. I waited there for 45 minutes. I got out and walked up to what was going on. Joe Biden was on his way to the airport and no one could pass until he went by. He was in town to stump for So there we sat. I thought, "If Joe Biden makes it so I miss my baby's birth, I am definitely voting for Tom Horner this fall!!!"
_______________________________________________
From: Michael Nawrocki
To: halfdrunkcanofpop
Date: October 5, 2010 3:16 PM
Subject: Re: Happy Birthday
p.s.
Full head of black hair. Long toes. Allegedly she has her father's eyes, but we can't confirm that because they are always closed. I miss her. Think I'll ditch Emily for awhile and see how Charlotte is doing. Feels weird and great actually calling her by a real name.
_______________________________________________
From: Michael Nawrocki
To: halfdrunkcanofpop
Date: October 7, 2010 12;25 PM
Subject: Charlotte Update
Charlotte is doing GREAT!!!!!!!! After a trial run of taking her of the CPAP yesterday (and replacing it with a cannula) failed, last night was spent getting her back to equilibrium. She did great through the night and they tried again this morning right as we walked in late this morning. They took out the CPAP and put in a cannula. And this time it took. She stayed calm and her breathing and blood O2 sats stayed well over 90% (the goal), so they let us hold her. Highlights:
1. We saw her open her eyes for the first time and she looked right as us when we talked to her.
2. We both got to hold her.
3. I changed my first diaper ever with a lot of help form the nurse.
4. She took her first feeding of Emily's breast milk. Emily has been pumping every three hours and they have been storing it up for this moment. And they feed through a tube.
Video and pics to follow sometime between now and when Charlotte turns 18.
_______________________________________________
From: Michael Nawrocki
To: halfdrunkcanofpop
Date: October 7, 2010 2:34 PM
Subject: Emily Update
_______________________________________________
From: Michael Nawrocki
To: halfdrunkcanofpop
Date: October 9, 2010 9:13 PM
Subject: Re: Cottage conference thought
Just as a heads up, I am not sure how many visitors Charlotte would be able to see. Charlotte's immunity will not be up to snuff when we take her home. Exactly what that means in terms of who can visit and how often remains to be seen. We are taking this one day at a time and will keep everyone posted on that. The possibilities range from no restrictions to a lot of restrictions.
I hope it's okay if I hijack this thread to briefly say Charlotte is doing great. She is breathing on her own and off the IV. She still needs the light for jaundice prevention and she still needs support to maintain her body temperature. She now only has one tube in her, an NG tube for feeding. Two days ago they gave Charlotte 5 cc of Emily's milk to see if she could tolerate it. When I left tonight after her last feeding, she took 35 cc. Emily is getting to the point where she can keep up with the the demand, in tems of what she can supply.
Emily is kicking ass too, She had a good day today. Her soreness post-surgery persists and she is not overly fond of living at Fairview Southdale. But we both agree it is worth it.
No word on when Charlotte comes home, She has to be nursing independently and pass a carseat test. So we are on her schedule. Like I said, we go one day at a time.
_______________________________________________
From: Michael Nawrocki
To: halfdrunkcanofpop
Date: October 10, 2010 2:00 PM
Subject: Re: Charlotte Update
Update #3
Things continue to progress nicely for both Emily and Charlotte.
Beginning with Charlotte,
1. Her biliruben (or however you spell it) count is back to normal so
no more blue light for now and hopefully forever.
2. She and Emily worked on learning how to nurse for the first time this morning. Charlotte latched a few times which exceeded expectations for a first time trial. The two ladies will have their second practice this evening. We used to two-a-days in college for track and cross country. Quite frankly, those workouts seem a lot easier than the work Emily and Charlotte go through.
Emily...
1. Has a swollen ankle which she researched thoroughly and learned is normal post-pregnancy. But it was pretty painful and stiff through the night and improving today.
2. Had some issues with expressing milk but thanks in part to Jessie's nurse and mostly to a nurse we had here, Emily learned a few tricks of the trade to make things work and now she is doing a great job. This is a huge relief both mentally and physically (literally) for Emily. And that is really the most I want to talk about my wife's mammary glands with everyone. Bottom line is she is 100% happier today than she was 24 hours ago.
_______________________________________________
From: Michael Nawrocki
To: halfdrunkcanofpop
Date: October 5, 2010 3:09 PM
Subject: Happy Birthday
Charlotte James Nawrocki
5 lbs 3 ounces, 18 1/2 inches
12:23 p.m.
Emily did great. C-section birth ordered by the doctor around 9 a.m. Ben was with us and got some beautiful pictures. Emily is recovering nicely and Charlotte is in the Special Care Nursery on a CPAP machine to keep her lung pressure at a level where the alveoli can stay inflated, but otherwise she is breathing on her own. So she is having a tad difficulty breathing but this is pretty standard stuff for a baby born at 33 weeks, 6 days.
Pictures to follow.
So Charlotte won the race against her cousins, which we really wanted her to lose but, who cares? She is beautiful and in the hands of some of the best medical practitioners in the world. And I almost lost a race myself. On the way over I thought I'd take Shepard Road as a shortcut to get to Crosstown. But at 35E and Shepard Road traffic was a at a standstill. I was pinned with an 18 wheeler behind me and to the left of me and a Schwann's delivery guy in front of me. I waited there for 45 minutes. I got out and walked up to what was going on. Joe Biden was on his way to the airport and no one could pass until he went by. He was in town to stump for So there we sat. I thought, "If Joe Biden makes it so I miss my baby's birth, I am definitely voting for Tom Horner this fall!!!"
_______________________________________________
From: Michael Nawrocki
To: halfdrunkcanofpop
Date: October 5, 2010 3:16 PM
Subject: Re: Happy Birthday
p.s.
Full head of black hair. Long toes. Allegedly she has her father's eyes, but we can't confirm that because they are always closed. I miss her. Think I'll ditch Emily for awhile and see how Charlotte is doing. Feels weird and great actually calling her by a real name.
_______________________________________________
From: Michael Nawrocki
To: halfdrunkcanofpop
Date: October 7, 2010 12;25 PM
Subject: Charlotte Update
Charlotte is doing GREAT!!!!!!!! After a trial run of taking her of the CPAP yesterday (and replacing it with a cannula) failed, last night was spent getting her back to equilibrium. She did great through the night and they tried again this morning right as we walked in late this morning. They took out the CPAP and put in a cannula. And this time it took. She stayed calm and her breathing and blood O2 sats stayed well over 90% (the goal), so they let us hold her. Highlights:
1. We saw her open her eyes for the first time and she looked right as us when we talked to her.
2. We both got to hold her.
3. I changed my first diaper ever with a lot of help form the nurse.
4. She took her first feeding of Emily's breast milk. Emily has been pumping every three hours and they have been storing it up for this moment. And they feed through a tube.
Video and pics to follow sometime between now and when Charlotte turns 18.
_______________________________________________
From: Michael Nawrocki
To: halfdrunkcanofpop
Date: October 7, 2010 2:34 PM
Subject: Emily Update
Both Ben and Beth have asked for updates on Emily. Emily is doing awesome. We have ditched the wheelchair and she walks to and from the nursery slowly but easily. Her husband needs to be retrained because he keeps walking at normal speed. Then I'll hear this "okay bye" and I turn around and she's ten yards back.
Physically there is still pain but nothing unusual. For someone who whines about people on the radio in the morning (or any time of day, she would like me to correct), she sure is one tough lady. Emotionally, she is super happy. So am I.
Physically there is still pain but nothing unusual. For someone who whines about people on the radio in the morning (or any time of day, she would like me to correct), she sure is one tough lady. Emotionally, she is super happy. So am I.
_______________________________________________
From: Michael Nawrocki
To: halfdrunkcanofpop
Date: October 9, 2010 9:13 PM
Subject: Re: Cottage conference thought
Just as a heads up, I am not sure how many visitors Charlotte would be able to see. Charlotte's immunity will not be up to snuff when we take her home. Exactly what that means in terms of who can visit and how often remains to be seen. We are taking this one day at a time and will keep everyone posted on that. The possibilities range from no restrictions to a lot of restrictions.
I hope it's okay if I hijack this thread to briefly say Charlotte is doing great. She is breathing on her own and off the IV. She still needs the light for jaundice prevention and she still needs support to maintain her body temperature. She now only has one tube in her, an NG tube for feeding. Two days ago they gave Charlotte 5 cc of Emily's milk to see if she could tolerate it. When I left tonight after her last feeding, she took 35 cc. Emily is getting to the point where she can keep up with the the demand, in tems of what she can supply.
Emily is kicking ass too, She had a good day today. Her soreness post-surgery persists and she is not overly fond of living at Fairview Southdale. But we both agree it is worth it.
No word on when Charlotte comes home, She has to be nursing independently and pass a carseat test. So we are on her schedule. Like I said, we go one day at a time.
_______________________________________________
From: Michael Nawrocki
To: halfdrunkcanofpop
Date: October 10, 2010 2:00 PM
Subject: Re: Charlotte Update
Update #3
Things continue to progress nicely for both Emily and Charlotte.
Beginning with Charlotte,
1. Her biliruben (or however you spell it) count is back to normal so
no more blue light for now and hopefully forever.
2. She and Emily worked on learning how to nurse for the first time this morning. Charlotte latched a few times which exceeded expectations for a first time trial. The two ladies will have their second practice this evening. We used to two-a-days in college for track and cross country. Quite frankly, those workouts seem a lot easier than the work Emily and Charlotte go through.
Emily...
1. Has a swollen ankle which she researched thoroughly and learned is normal post-pregnancy. But it was pretty painful and stiff through the night and improving today.
2. Had some issues with expressing milk but thanks in part to Jessie's nurse and mostly to a nurse we had here, Emily learned a few tricks of the trade to make things work and now she is doing a great job. This is a huge relief both mentally and physically (literally) for Emily. And that is really the most I want to talk about my wife's mammary glands with everyone. Bottom line is she is 100% happier today than she was 24 hours ago.
October 17, 2010
A Catalog of Thanks
As I wrote the last post and reflected on the insanity that was the last two months of Emily's pregnancy, I was reminded just how impossible our ability to function would be without the help of others. To accept so much help from others, initially, was a very hard thing for me to do. But that doesn't make me any less grateful for all the love and support we have received. And I have to remind myself, if the shoe were on the other foot, I would be just as eager to help. So many people to thank!
- The cousins and aunts who painted our bedroom and Charlotte's bedroom.
- Zach who assembled Charlotte's crib with me (actually I did him a favor because he gets boners when he assembles IKEA furniture). Zach also helped me restore Emily's old dresser to working order for Charlotte.
- Doug and Erin who have taken Pancho off of our hands time and time again so I can focus on being with Emily (and eventually Emily and Charlotte).
- Erin also cleaned the house and sorted the baby clothes for us. But like Zach, we were doing her a favor. Organizing and cleaning gives Erin lady boners.
- My mom and sisters for helping host a shower for Emily and traveling all the way up from Texas for the occasion.
- Maureen and Angie for co-hosting as well. Maureen hosted the shower in her home.
- Nathan for bringing us Potbelly sandwiches a few days after Charlotte's birth.
- Emily's mom for bringing food for Emily and just being herself.
- All the people who gave us gifts at Emily's shower.
- Nathan, Kirk, and Marty for organizing a Finn Shower for Dudes, which may go down in history as the most inappropriate shower ever.
- Emily's cousins Cait and Amy who made us two huge batches of excellent soup.
- Emily's mom cooked some spaghetti soup for me one night.
- My mom bought a library of books for Charlotte to grow up with.
- My niece Sophia and nephew Calvin both made homemade books for Charlotte back when she was just a future cousin in utero.
- My other niece Hannah is knitting Charlotte a scarf.
- As I type this, Emily's aunt Deb and her cousin Laurie are coming over with roast beef sandwiches.
- Bob and Jules made us some homemade mac and cheese freeze and store.
- Laurie sent us so many supplies for Charlotte, like a car seat, swing, bassinet, and many other things. Then Deb called on her mad Rubik's cube skills and assembled the bassinet and swing with no instructions, but the help of Cait and Amy. Take that Zach!
- Emily's friend Missy bought Emily some slippers, nice shower gel, and an Eyebrow Wax Lady came to the hospital to beautify her.
- Emily's sister was amazing. While toting twins in her belly (that came out three days after Charlotte) she cooked for us and visited Emily in the hospital whenever she could. No small feat for a mother of two.
- Ben took those stunning pictures of Charlotte's birth that are priceless to us.
- Also, one day Emily's work computer crapped out and Ben first brought her one of his old computers so she could stay online in the hospital, and then he took her broken computer to Emily's workplace to get fixed. No small feat for a father of two with a wife pregnant with twins.
- Emily's friends Rachel and Kate took Emily to lunch. Just giving Emily a chance to escape the hospital for a few hours is a huge relief to her.
- My employer has been incredibly supportive through all this. So has Emily's.
- The staff I work with has been great too. From asking questions and offering to support, to giving gifts, including tea for lactation, molasses to prevent anemia, books for bedrest, and the proverbial "I LOVE MY DADDY SOOOOO MUCH" onesie.
- The Longleys brought us Blizzards and ribs.
- Maureen brought us candy corn and Leann Chin.
- My sisters and mom are sponsoring a cleaning lady for our house.
- This summer I was coaching a marathon training class and my co-coaches Anne and Marty were very understanding, as was the whole class, the times I had to bail on a practice at the last second.
- Emily's step-mom gave Emily some much needed fresh fruit in the form of honeycrisp apples.
- Zander and Julie brought us a whole homemade dinner (including leftovers that I used for lunch) and the entertainment of their son Jin, of Jin Quote du Jour fame.
- Paul and Karen came to visit and two days later, Charlotte was born. Karen brought some magazines to make Emily's bedrest more tolerable. And typical Professor fashion, Paul took a copy of the day's paper from the front desk.
- At least three different moms gave us complete sets of baby clothes that they no longer needed.
- Our friend Heidi had a daughter at 34 weeks and visited Emily to reassure her that things would be okay and told her what to expect.
- Angie brought Emily her favorite State Fair food (now being sold in downtown Minneapolis), World's Greatest Turkey Sandwich.
- Maureen and Bill brought us Stress Free Crosswords which Emily and I did together quite a bit to pass the time.
- My friend John, whose son was born the same day as Charlotte, gave me a book, The Survival Guide for First Time Dads. And yes, I need it.
- I run with John, as well as Greg and Nick. All of us have wives who are expecting or already delivered this fall. In 16 years we will be one runner away from having a pretty good co-ed cross country team.
- Emily's friend Kate brought "Cashew Trail Mix" which I call "Devils' Mix." You eat one bite and you are condemned to eating the whole container because it is THAT good.
- Emily's aunt Nancy then brought another canister of the Devil's Mix upon request. I first accidentally typed "upon regret." Which is how you feel after 30 minutes of eating the cashew, M&M, Milk Dud combo.
- Jen was visiting from Grinnell and gave Emily some magazines and homemade pumpkin muffins.
- Emily for being Emily.
The list is impressive in its quality and length. Here is how I can summarize it the best. Last Friday was garbage and recycling day. I always budget an extra ten minutes before leaving on recycling day because you never know what hiccup I may come across as I gather and take out the recycling.
Well first I went to get the trash bins and push them to the edge of the driveway so the garbage man would take them. Both bins were empty. In one week I had accumulated no trash.
Then I went to get the recycling out of the basement. None there. Maybe I already transferred it to the garage. Nope. None there either. In TWO weeks, I had accumulated nothing that needed to be recycled.
Holy crap. That just shows you how ungrounded I had become. "It's upside down and backwards; the foot's on the other shoe," to quote James McMurtry. And yet I am healthy, eating three square meals a day, and able to make to the hospital everyday to be with Charlotte and Emily and we know we can finish off getting the house Charlotte Ready. That last sentence could not be true without the love and support we have received from everyone.
Charlotte is blessed to be born into such a caring network of family and friends.
The Eye of the Hurricane
I wonder if for a lot of families who have a "normal"pregnancy (if there is such a thing), there is a calm before the storm before the birth of their first child. You get the nursery set up, the baby gear is purchased, the showers thank you cards are sent out, and then you just wait excitedly. I'm sure it's not really like that, but that's how I imagine it.
Well if that is the case, I think Emily and I right now are in the eye of a hurricane. Our August and September was a storm of stress and isolation for both of us, and for me flash floods of mess and a desire to cut myself in three so I could be in multiple places at once.
And then Charlotte was born.
And sure, my life is still split between work, making sure the pets don't die of neglect and the house doesn't burn down, and spending my evenings with Emily and helping take care of Charlotte. And Emily is in the hospital with Charlotte around the clock. She has slept in our house a total two nights over the last month. I haven't shopped for groceries in over a month or cooked a meal.
So things aren't easy, but they are relatively calm. Emily and I get to spend a lot of time together. The threat of delivering a fragile baby has passed. Any worry we have is quickly addressed by one of the awesome NICU nurses helping Charlotte (and helping us).
And Emily and I have had some great moments together in some of the oddest places. Kids do change everything, including when and where these moments take place. Like a breakfast of oatmeal and yogurt in the hospital cafeteria almost like an outing for us. Or on Friday night I slept in the hospital in a chair that folded out to a twin bed so uncomfortable, it reminded me of the 50 year-old beds at Emily's cottage. But it was so great to wake up in the same room as Emily and Charlotte was only a short walk away.
So here we sit in the eye of the hurricane. We're trying to recover from the last two months of insanity. We are not a complete family yet, but we are getting closer and Emily and I are as close as we have ever been, despite the geography that separates us. And we're still a little stressed about what is on the other side of the storm when Charlotte comes home.
But for now I try to soak up the calm, no matter how hard it is.
Well if that is the case, I think Emily and I right now are in the eye of a hurricane. Our August and September was a storm of stress and isolation for both of us, and for me flash floods of mess and a desire to cut myself in three so I could be in multiple places at once.
And then Charlotte was born.
And sure, my life is still split between work, making sure the pets don't die of neglect and the house doesn't burn down, and spending my evenings with Emily and helping take care of Charlotte. And Emily is in the hospital with Charlotte around the clock. She has slept in our house a total two nights over the last month. I haven't shopped for groceries in over a month or cooked a meal.
So things aren't easy, but they are relatively calm. Emily and I get to spend a lot of time together. The threat of delivering a fragile baby has passed. Any worry we have is quickly addressed by one of the awesome NICU nurses helping Charlotte (and helping us).
And Emily and I have had some great moments together in some of the oddest places. Kids do change everything, including when and where these moments take place. Like a breakfast of oatmeal and yogurt in the hospital cafeteria almost like an outing for us. Or on Friday night I slept in the hospital in a chair that folded out to a twin bed so uncomfortable, it reminded me of the 50 year-old beds at Emily's cottage. But it was so great to wake up in the same room as Emily and Charlotte was only a short walk away.
So here we sit in the eye of the hurricane. We're trying to recover from the last two months of insanity. We are not a complete family yet, but we are getting closer and Emily and I are as close as we have ever been, despite the geography that separates us. And we're still a little stressed about what is on the other side of the storm when Charlotte comes home.
But for now I try to soak up the calm, no matter how hard it is.
October 16, 2010
Charlotte One Week Old
Well, actually she is "34 weeks corrected" since premature baby's ages are their gestational age, but more about that later.
On Tuesday, Ben came to the hospital to take some pictures of his favorite niece.
On Tuesday, Ben came to the hospital to take some pictures of his favorite niece.
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| Ben said, "Emily will you kiss the top of her head. I know you do it all the time when I am not here." |
Conversation With Emily #672
Our friend Chris posted the following link to Emily's Facebook wall.
This lead to the following conversation.
Me: I hate that guy. He makes guys like me look bad.
Emily: He probably doesn't even have a job. Plus you know I hate having people handle my food. I'd never eat that. I'm so glad you didn't do that for me.
Looks like I found the right person to spend the rest of my life with. Her hang-ups mesh perfectly with my laziness.
October 15, 2010
Do You Think She Has Mike's eyes?
Charlotte's Birth Story
I went in the OR without them and they gave me the epidural and strapped my arms to the table (did you know they do that? It's instinct to reach out to grab the baby and that would compromise the sterile field) and the guys came in. It didn't hurt, but I felt lots of pulling and tugging. After <15 minutes the doctor pulled Charlotte out. I heard her cry and it was the most amazing moment. She was here! And she was OK! Crying meant she was breathing! My doctor said, "say hi!" and lifted her up to the curtain for a split second and all I saw was the top of her head. Mike could see everything and he just kept saying, "she's so beautiful, she's so beautiful."
Because Charlotte was a preemie, I knew that I wouldn't get to hold her right away since the neonatologists would take her away for assessment. During this part, Ben came over and showed me the pictures on his camera, the first time I got to get a good look at her. Charlotte was breathing on her own, but then she stopped and was in respiratory distress. Ben had to leave and Mike was with Charlotte. I don't know what was happening while they finished stitching me up, Mike can tell that part of the story. While I was in recovery, Mike and Ben were in the Special Care Nursery with Charlotte and took more pictures and came back to show me.
Having Ben come to take pictures was so wonderful. The nurse had told Ben that he wasn't allowed in the OR, but he would not take no for an answer and kept asking until she said it was up to the anesthesiologist and he was fine with it. So, Ben got some scrubs. It was really cool to share such an important day with him. It also allowed me to see what was going on throughout the whole thing.
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Once I was recovered I was wheeled through the nursery to see her for the first time and I put my finger in her hand she grabbed my finger. She is amazing and beautiful and we are in love.
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| our first family photo |
Our Babymoon
I was thinking about starting a blog to document Charlotte's coming into the world. In fact, I had planned on doing it the week she was born, as I was not even 34 weeks pregnant and felt I had plenty of time. Then, on October 5, 2010 at 12:23 pm, she was delivered and it's been busy ever since! Before I can tell her birth story, some background is in order.
A little background:
Aside from feeling like I was 500 degrees all summer, I was enjoying a rather normal pregnancy until about 27 weeks. At my appointment that week, my doctor was concerned that the amniotic fluid was so low and ordered me on bedrest. I wasn't overly worried. In fact, we had plans to go to a Twins game that night with friends and went anyway because I happen to find baseball very relaxing and that complies with bedrest, right? So, I was on bedrest at home for a couple weeks. I worked at home during the day on one couch, and then spent the evening on the other couch with Mike. Then August 30, I was diagnosed with severe oligohydramnios* and the fluid was so low that my doctor sent me to the hospital to be admitted and assessed by the perinatologist. She gave me a shot of steroids to help the baby's lungs develop faster and put her hand on my arm and said, "Emily, I don't know what they are going to say. You might be admitted, you might have to deliver, or they might send you home." That was scary! So, off we went to the hospital, had an assessment with the perinatologist. Our baby girl wasn't moving very much, which concerned her, but she didn't want me to eat anything to try and wake her up just in case I had to have a c-section that night. She wasn't born that night, although everyone kept reassuring us that 29 week old babies do fine. After a couple days, I was discharged. When I asked about bedrest, the perinatologist said he didn't see any benefit. Woo hoo! I got to go home in time to attend my cousin Cait's wedding, where Mike had the honor of officiating and I was heartbroken that I might have to miss it.
I continued to go about my business, but taking it extremely easy. Then on September 20th, it was the same thing again. I was wheeled over to the hospital. We thought we might have a baby that night or the next day. After a night of being pumped with IV fluids, my fluid went back up to a level my doctor was comfortable with, but she wanted me to stay in the hospital for constant monitoring and IV fluids for as long as possible so that the baby could be more of a "chub head" (her words). It was balance between the baby being best off in the womb until the situation in the womb became too stressful due to the low fluid. She couldn't say when exactly this would be, but she wanted it to be past 34 weeks. After eight days being confined to room 211, the fluid was the highest it had been since this whole low fluid thing started. I was discharged from the hospital, but I didn't tell everyone because I knew that I would be back as soon as I saw my doctor again. Sure enough two days later, September 30, I was back. Same deal as before.
Let me tell you, being on bedrest in the hospital is not easy. Being away from Mike for so long sucked. I missed our dog (but not the cats, in fact, I forgot I had cats). I was only allowed to walk as far as the bathroom and my doctor only wanted me to shower once a week, but I negotiated showers on IV changing days (every three days). I left my room one time, to go on a wheelchair ride with Mike pushing me. It was a beautiful, perfect September day and we did a lap around the hospital. Mike said, "this is our babymoon" and we laughed. Mike came every night after work to spend time with me, and sometimes bring me food that was edible. I had zero appetite from being so sedentary, plus being horizontal all the time just gave me a stomach ache and wicked heartburn. I had no idea what day it was most of the time. Most people won't understand this, but I actually did not get enough alone time in the hospital and that makes me crabby. People were always coming in my room so I never had any stretches of peace and quiet to myself. I continued to work remotely because it made me feel like a normal person and made the days go faster. The weekend before Charlotte was born was a low point for me. It was really getting to me and I didn't think I could do it any longer.
Mike was incredible through it all. He had to do everything around the house that usually takes two people to do and at the same time take care of me. We got to spend a lot of time together over the summer, but not as we had envisioned. No trips to the cottage, or the State Fair, or going out to enjoy our last months of just the two of us. Even though it was really scary, stressful and frustrating at times, I would do it all over again and I wouldn't change a thing because now we have Charlotte.
And that is the end of the background section.
* Do you really want to know? Oligohydramnios is a pregnancy condition where there is less amniotic fluid than there should be. The fluid is measured by ultrasound where they measure the largest pocket of fluid in each quadrant and add them up. Normal is between about 8-21 centimeters. Below 5 is considered oligohydramnios and may be an indication for delivery. My fluid was hovering between 5-7 for a while and was below 5 each time I was sent to the hospital. Oligohyndramnios can be caused by a number of things: a baby without kidneys or a bladder will have low fluid because the fluid is basically peed out of the baby; a placental insufficiency issue may not make enough fluid; a tear in the amniotic sac; pre-eclampsia and some other conditions that the mother may have. My case was idiopathic. Low amniotic fluid can be a very stressful environment for a baby and can result in immature lungs since the baby uses the fluid to practice breathing and inflating her lungs. It can also result in restricted growth. A baby needs room to move her limbs for development of muscles and bones. It can also result in compression of the umbilical cord, which would mean the baby wouldn't get enough oxygen and nutrients. So, plenty to worry about.
A little background:
Aside from feeling like I was 500 degrees all summer, I was enjoying a rather normal pregnancy until about 27 weeks. At my appointment that week, my doctor was concerned that the amniotic fluid was so low and ordered me on bedrest. I wasn't overly worried. In fact, we had plans to go to a Twins game that night with friends and went anyway because I happen to find baseball very relaxing and that complies with bedrest, right? So, I was on bedrest at home for a couple weeks. I worked at home during the day on one couch, and then spent the evening on the other couch with Mike. Then August 30, I was diagnosed with severe oligohydramnios* and the fluid was so low that my doctor sent me to the hospital to be admitted and assessed by the perinatologist. She gave me a shot of steroids to help the baby's lungs develop faster and put her hand on my arm and said, "Emily, I don't know what they are going to say. You might be admitted, you might have to deliver, or they might send you home." That was scary! So, off we went to the hospital, had an assessment with the perinatologist. Our baby girl wasn't moving very much, which concerned her, but she didn't want me to eat anything to try and wake her up just in case I had to have a c-section that night. She wasn't born that night, although everyone kept reassuring us that 29 week old babies do fine. After a couple days, I was discharged. When I asked about bedrest, the perinatologist said he didn't see any benefit. Woo hoo! I got to go home in time to attend my cousin Cait's wedding, where Mike had the honor of officiating and I was heartbroken that I might have to miss it.
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| Mike doing his thing |
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| Mike and the newlyweds, Cait and Zach |
I continued to go about my business, but taking it extremely easy. Then on September 20th, it was the same thing again. I was wheeled over to the hospital. We thought we might have a baby that night or the next day. After a night of being pumped with IV fluids, my fluid went back up to a level my doctor was comfortable with, but she wanted me to stay in the hospital for constant monitoring and IV fluids for as long as possible so that the baby could be more of a "chub head" (her words). It was balance between the baby being best off in the womb until the situation in the womb became too stressful due to the low fluid. She couldn't say when exactly this would be, but she wanted it to be past 34 weeks. After eight days being confined to room 211, the fluid was the highest it had been since this whole low fluid thing started. I was discharged from the hospital, but I didn't tell everyone because I knew that I would be back as soon as I saw my doctor again. Sure enough two days later, September 30, I was back. Same deal as before.
Let me tell you, being on bedrest in the hospital is not easy. Being away from Mike for so long sucked. I missed our dog (but not the cats, in fact, I forgot I had cats). I was only allowed to walk as far as the bathroom and my doctor only wanted me to shower once a week, but I negotiated showers on IV changing days (every three days). I left my room one time, to go on a wheelchair ride with Mike pushing me. It was a beautiful, perfect September day and we did a lap around the hospital. Mike said, "this is our babymoon" and we laughed. Mike came every night after work to spend time with me, and sometimes bring me food that was edible. I had zero appetite from being so sedentary, plus being horizontal all the time just gave me a stomach ache and wicked heartburn. I had no idea what day it was most of the time. Most people won't understand this, but I actually did not get enough alone time in the hospital and that makes me crabby. People were always coming in my room so I never had any stretches of peace and quiet to myself. I continued to work remotely because it made me feel like a normal person and made the days go faster. The weekend before Charlotte was born was a low point for me. It was really getting to me and I didn't think I could do it any longer.
Mike was incredible through it all. He had to do everything around the house that usually takes two people to do and at the same time take care of me. We got to spend a lot of time together over the summer, but not as we had envisioned. No trips to the cottage, or the State Fair, or going out to enjoy our last months of just the two of us. Even though it was really scary, stressful and frustrating at times, I would do it all over again and I wouldn't change a thing because now we have Charlotte.
And that is the end of the background section.
* Do you really want to know? Oligohydramnios is a pregnancy condition where there is less amniotic fluid than there should be. The fluid is measured by ultrasound where they measure the largest pocket of fluid in each quadrant and add them up. Normal is between about 8-21 centimeters. Below 5 is considered oligohydramnios and may be an indication for delivery. My fluid was hovering between 5-7 for a while and was below 5 each time I was sent to the hospital. Oligohyndramnios can be caused by a number of things: a baby without kidneys or a bladder will have low fluid because the fluid is basically peed out of the baby; a placental insufficiency issue may not make enough fluid; a tear in the amniotic sac; pre-eclampsia and some other conditions that the mother may have. My case was idiopathic. Low amniotic fluid can be a very stressful environment for a baby and can result in immature lungs since the baby uses the fluid to practice breathing and inflating her lungs. It can also result in restricted growth. A baby needs room to move her limbs for development of muscles and bones. It can also result in compression of the umbilical cord, which would mean the baby wouldn't get enough oxygen and nutrients. So, plenty to worry about.
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