'Tis the Season

Charlotte is very excited about all things Christmas.  Not just the presents, but everything (of course presents are discussed too).  But it has been fun to see completely wrap her head around the fact that this is a very special time of the year, just like I remembered it.

We had this paper advent calendar growing up that we reused year after year and I always liked getting up in the morning to open up the next day's window.  So I told Emily about that and last year she got this awesome felt advent calendar with 24 pockets and each day you take a new felt "ornament" out and put it on the felt tree.  And Charlotte comes down stairs and sees the calendar and the first thing she'll say to me is "Daddy it's day 11!" and she'll wait for me or Emily to come over to work the calendar with her.  It's a pretty nice way to start the day.  Or on mornings we all forget, it's a great way to start our post work/school afternoon together.

She loves the tree.  Emily brought the kids' table in their bedroom downstairs and put it next to the Christmas tree.  Charlotte is allowed to have her breakfast and snack there, and she'll just sit there looking at her tree and her Christmas stocking, eating.  Sometimes Happy joins her, sometimes she wants to sit in her high chair.

She loves Christmas music.  We have been listening to KOOL 108's Christmas music so much that Charltotte thinks it's a CD and not a radio station because we have heard each song they play at least ten 8712098123 times.   She makes up her own songs as kids do her age, and they are Christmas songs fused with some nonsense about Frozen.  But today she walked past me singing "and then we go KOOL 108 Christmas music time" and she did in the same tune KOOL 108 uses to announce itself.

She loves Christmas books. And Charlotte's personal librarian Suze has done a great job of keeping connected to Haps and Charlotte even though she can't be here with us this time.  She sent Charlotte some stickers, one sheet which is still untouched and a regular decoration at the dinner table.  And Charlotte used the other stickers to make holiday cards for decorations.  And then all on her own she made a card for Suze, but wants to me to add a message to Suze from Charlotte before I send it off.  We haven't found a good time to that because whenever I ask, Charlotte is busy coloring.

Anyway, two days ago Suze sent some Christmas books for Happy and Charlotte and immediately they were a HUGE hit.  Here they are when they first got them.  Note the homemade ribbon Charlotte is sporting.  She asked Emily to make that for her.

And the last few nights Charlotte has created her own agnostic manger to sleep in.  She always gets her stocking, which she treats like a doll, to sleep with, as well as the 'Twas the Night Before Christmas book from Suze (that poem was also a big part of our Christmas as a kid).  Then she gets her Rody bouncy horse we bought for her for physical therapy that she never once used in any physical way.  Only Rody isn't Rody anymore.  He's Rudolph.  And when I tuck the girls in I have to give Rudolph a kiss and then Charlotte makes sure he kisses me back.  And by that I mean she acts like the green reindeer that looks like a pony is licking me like a dog.  "Look Daddy.  Rudolph is kissing you like Pancho!"

So Rody didn't make the shot in the picture below, but there is Charlotte is in her manger.  Every night she lets the cat and book have half her bed.  Note the cat stocking has a matching homespun bow that Emily made at Charlotte's request.  Also, Charlotte is trying to make the exact same face that the cat is.  She came pretty close.  She has a bizarre knack to pretty much match any character's facial expression in a book.

Meanwhile Happy could care less couldn't care less could care less couldn't care less doesn't care about Christmas (sorry, it's an old Linguistics joke).  She's all like, "y'all do you're thing and I'll do mine and if we cross paths, that's cool.  I love you guys and all but I got stuff to do.  Speaking of which, I'm off to find a container, any container, full of stuff that I can dump on the floor.  This time make it super challenging so I REALLY have to earn it this time."

Well that reminds me.  There is one thing she loves about Christmas.  Pulling ornaments off the tree.  She's trying to train us to deal with it and we're trying to train her to stop doing it.

So far it's a stalemate in that regards.

Charlotte Was Here, Again

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Everybody Wants to Rule the World

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Graduates

Charlotte graduated from Occupational Therapy (OT) at the end of November with little fanfare which is a good thing and Happy is wrapping up her time with Minneapolis Public School birth to three special education team.

We told Charlotte at the beginning of November that she only had to go to OT three more times and she was super excited.  She had a lot of fun at OT but she said she was excited to be with her friends at Edgecumbe Montessori all day.  While in OT she was showing up at school around 9:30 am once a week rather than her usual 7:30 a.m. where I think she liked being there before everyone but one kid rather than just being dropped in a full classroom in full swing.  I think we all can relate and appreciate easing into things.

But the OT really helped her get control of her sensory issues and fears.  At the end of October we were at Fireroast, Charlotte's favorite and my favorite coffee shop, eating outside when some two ton trucks rolled down 38th street on separate occasions and Charlotte didn't even notice.

And then at school, her teacher at Montessori did little nothing to hide her skepticism of Charlotte's need for OT and freely reminded me time and time again of all the times that Charlotte would hear loud noises and not react.  So clearly, in the teacher's eyes, Charlotte was just playing us for the fool and playing up her fears around us.  Rather than argue my alternate theory,  I just let her teachers think that because it really isn't a battle worth having.

But I think about all the kids I used to work with who would hold their speech together all day at school and then go home and stutter like crazy in front of mom and dad.  Or all kids who behave in school and come home and throw temper tantrums.  It's kind of like if I went to the beach and walked around shirtless, I would be trying like crazy to keep my belly sucked in.  That's a lot of work over the course of the day.  And when I got home, I would put on some pajama pants an old t-shirt and let my belly relax and go wherever it wants.  Kids do the same thing.  They have to perform at school and when they get home they just can't hold it all together anymore because it is so much work.  That's why the OT was so important for Charlotte so she didn't have to work so hard to keep her sensory self together.

Before OT, she'd suppress her out-of-whack sensory system to try to act like all the other kids.  Only it wasn't working as well as she hoped.  Over the summer she had daily to weekly behaviors with other kids and her teachers.  Pushing past kids.  Refusing to transition or follow directions.  Regular old three year old meltdowns, but way more than usual for her.  The teachers held her accountable as they should and we did too.  But... we never saw those behaviors at home.  I think Charlotte was overstimulated at school with light and noise and tried to hide her outbursts (because no other kid was freaking out about noise), but the energy and anxiety was pent up and had to come come out, only it came out sideways.  So she pushed kids, cried, yelled, refused to share.... like any other three year old at his or her worst, only the source was sensory based.  In the end it doesn't matter, but I do find it telling that all of these behaviors went away as Charlotte got better and better at tuning out irrelevant environmental noises.

And part of all this is to give a shout out to all the PTs, OTs, and my fellow SLPs, and the select teachers who can see the child holistically and not just focus on the one thing they are paid to work on, be it learning walk, read, or improve language skills.  Charlotte's PTs and OTs were able to connect the dots in ways that Charlotte's teachers at Edgecumbe, as great as they are, are not specifically trained to do.

Regarding Happy, her walking and talking coming along.  She has this super funny way of walking where her arms are like noodles that just hang down and flop around while her legs and tummy do all the work.  I am not sure if that is an issue or not and she is actually starting to use her upper body more.  Her PT will come out soon to check up on her.  But she is as happy as can be, climbing and walking and following Charlotte around or just doing her own thing.

Happy certainly has a mind with a heart of its own.  Charlotte and she are similar in that they are both very aware of what they can and cannot do and will do the hard things only when they are good and ready.  But they approach that line so differently.  Charlotte approaches with trepidation and meditation and then reflection, and Happy is more straight up defiant.  She knows exactly what the PT wants her to do and she just walks away from her as if to say, "Nope.  Not going to do that.  End of story" and acts like the PT doesn't exist.  But then.... that night there is Happy all by herself practicing independently whatever activity or exercise it is the PT wanted her to do earlier in the day (usually it's squats of some kind).  And at her age that's all we want, is for her to do the exercises.  The defiance, well, that's a streak I'm proud to say both my girls have, even if it manifests itself differently.  Charlotte is more of a "No thank you" about it all while Haps is more like "No and I don't care about you."

It's like my friend said about having two kids: one is pizza and the other is tacos.  They're totally different and you love them both the same.

Along those lines, Happy's language development is interesting.  She is finally willing to imitate and attempt sounds.  She'd imitate every nonspeech sound you can think of and laugh and smile the whole time.  But the second you did something as simple as an "m" for "more" she would just ignore that and do her own thing.  But now she is feeling better at taking risks with her speech and has tried to say Charlotte's name in imitation few times as well as a slew of other easier words all the time.  She probably has about ten words so a language boon should happen in about six months.  If not, well someone else can speech therapize her because that's going to be my role.  But she is finally interested in talking, just like her PT and special ed teacher told us: once she gets walking down she will be more interested in trying out speech.

So things are progressing.  Charlotte is eager to take responsibility for her learning and digested every second of OT, and Haps is eager to take responsibility for herself and doing things on her terms.

Tacos and pizza.  I love them both.

"I just love to sit here by my Christmas tree."

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Charlotte Was Here

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Book Club

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